The New Year began in Brooklyn. I worked a full-time job in the fashion industry. It made me happy up until fashion week came around, which I covered and simultaneously despised. At first, leaving the job seemed terrifying, but ultimately became the biggest blessing in disguise. Although I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do, and who I didn’t want to work for or with. And I quickly moved forward. I was featured as a Rising Photographer on Dazed Digital. I escaped to New Orleans with Clayton and KT for my first Mardi Gras. I fell in love with the city that I’d heard so much about, and yes, it was just as magical as everyone claims. Met Jac, who not only became a muse, but an incredible friend and partner in adventure. I made many incredible friends this year, but also lost a few. I realized that there’s a twisted beauty in losing friends. It became a reminder to appreciate the gifts which they bring into your life, a reminder that everyone comes in and out of your life for a reason. I worked on a short film, which was fun and beautiful. Spent a few weeks in LA with my brother and Jac. I rented a mini-cooper convertible and found myself staying in the Morning View Mansion that Incubus recorded in (high-school swoon!). Back in NYC, my car became my second home. I found any excuse to escape the city, and did practically every week. I spent a lot of time with my dear friend Derek in his incredibly beautiful home in the Catskills. It became my favorite place to escape, to think, to create and to feel endless comfort. I discovered epic swimming holes, beaches, weird towns in Jersey, and spent a lot of time at home in DC with my family. One of my favorite escapes was living on the most beautiful houseboat in Provincetown, with Clayton and KT. We rocked day and night, watched lightning storms, cooked delicious food, and explored the secret treasures of that little town. I found so much love in both Clayton and KT. They became so much more than friends to me; they were lovers, teachers with the most open hearts, and endless, non-judgmental care. The long-awaited departure from New York to live in The Middle East became more real to me as time passed. Between finding work to save for my expedition, and preparing for the actual move, I hit a rough spot and lost quite a bit of my sanity. My healing involved a lot of acupuncture and long motorcycle rides with a special man. And, of course, my beautiful friends took very good care of me. Kira Madden and I spent countless nights drinking wine, sharing endless knowledge, laughter and tears together. Danielle Redman always opened her warm arms, and we caused trouble all over the city, danced, twerked and watched sunrises. And Jac, my beautiful Jac became a sister to me, always around to escape when I needed it, even on a minutes notice. As the time to leave came close, I prepared by packing, and dancing as I saw fit. I got a week’s notice that I could finally go to Yemen, and I did. But not without trouble. I dealt with bureaucratic drama, which eventually led to me spending an unexpected week in Istanbul. Then, finally, my long-awaited time in Yemen arrived. I spent three weeks exploring the devastating mess my home had become. I treated myself to a few weeks in Cairo, and fell completely head over heels in love with it. I worked on an epic story with a new beautiful friend, Ghazala Irshad. And now, I’m here in Abu Dhabi working on some magic.

This year has been a whirlwind of adventure. I want to say that I’ve learned so much this year, but I know that I’ll be saying that at the end of every year to come. I started this year thinking I knew exactly what I wanted. And now, at the end of the year, I can proudly say that I know absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I’m heading in the right direction.

A happy and safe New Year to you ALL. I hope you find happiness, love and adventure in the year to come.

(Click here for last year’s Year in Review)

View the rest of the photos here: 2012, A Year in Review

“I wanted to be alone in quite an unusual, new way. The very opposite of what you are thinking: namely, without myself…” -Pirandello, One, No One & One Hundred Thousand

There has been a lot of movement here. There has been a lot of realizations in movement, learning how the rest of the world adapts to our aerodynamic speed, and how we in turn do the same. Maybe it’s the speed that keeps us away from our darker self, while we laugh at its attempt to always catch up.

View the rest of the photos here: No Emotion

Falling asleep and waking up to the rocking arms of mother nature has an unusual way of relaxing every nerve in your body, helping you forget about the world of chaos and stress that land seems to evoke. You find yourself completely aware of your surroundings, from every drop of fresh water you use, to every little creature floating under the surface.

Clayton and KT invited me to stay on a beautiful houseboat built by their good friend, Dwight Huffman. It sits on the harbor in Provincetown, Massachusetts, and it’s the most peaceful home I’ve ever had the chance of living in. We spent our days lounging, floating, exploring and documenting.

View the rest of the photos here: The Houseboat

I woke up on Wednesday morning with an adorable French man laying in my bed. We hadn’t had sex, we didn’t even kiss. Why was he in my bed? I felt awkward and didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. I texted Jac immediately, “how do I get him to leave?” and soon enough, my phone rang and Jac was on the line, “Hey! I’m on my way over to finish the edits for the video!” I played along and he was gone.
Jac and I giggled about it over brunch, and under the laughter I could feel the familiar urge to escape creeping up on me. It was Wednesday, Jac’s day off, and I tend to be really good at leaving most situations when they no longer make me happy. I’m not quite sure if that’s a good quality of mine, but that was none of my concern. The city wasn’t making me happy and I wanted to leave.
Next thing we know, we’re in my car, stuck in traffic in the Bronx, and I had to pee. I’m staring at the empty plastic cup from our iced coffee, remembering the time me and my dad were stuck in traffic on our way back from the Outer Banks and he made me go into the backseat so he could pee in a water bottle. Traffic wasn’t moving. I tell Jac I’m sorry for having to do this so early in our friendship, but I can’t hold it. I take the plastic cup into my backseat and let it go, crouched and trying to control myself as to not overflow or spill anywhere. Jac is laughing hysterically at the wheel, “two chicks one cup!” and I can’t help but laugh and simultaneously beg her to stop joking so I won’t make a mess. One cup is full, and I toss it out the window as I start my next round. It felt good, it felt really good.
It took us about two and a half hours to finally start moving again. We didn’t know where exactly we were going but we start heading in the direction of a place where Jac had once been upstate. We agreed that we didn’t want to come back to the city that night, and if anything, we had my car to sleep in. I was people watching while Jac continued to drive and spotted a man laughing. His smile reminded me of an old friend, Derek, and I instantly remembered that he had a beautiful home upstate. I contacted him and he was ecstatic to have us. But first, we wanted to find a body of water to watch the sunset and take a swim at dusk.
Once the sun started to set, we pulled off at a random exit and jumped in the water nearby. The light was perfect, and we were alone. Once dusk hit, we walked around the eerie neighborhood. Jac stopped me and pointed to the bushes. “Are those fireflies!?!” I was confused, of course they were fireflies, “I’ve never seen a firefly before!” I ran into the field to catch one for her. Something that had been such a normal recurrence for me was something she had never once experienced. We were in bliss.
Night hit and we were back on the road. Another hour and a half to Derek’s home. We took the back roads, through the small towns, brights on, spotting deer and swerving around road kill. We made it to Derek’s by midnight, but he wasn’t home yet. Exhausted, we settled in and fell straight asleep only to wake to Derek coming home a few hours later. I jumped on him in my sleepy state, gave him a huge kiss, thanked him, and went straight back to sleep.
In the morning, Jac and I turned to one another in total amazement. “Where the hell are we? How did we get here? Let’s not go back today.” And so we stayed. We cooked breakfast, we explored town, we borrowed bikes and photographed the beauty that surrounded us, we ate, we laughed, we talked about outer space and danced to cheesey music.
We were reminded of the magic outside the city. And sometimes, if we let it, it’s so much more exciting and inspiring than what we normally hold so high. Something that costs nothing, that requires no altered states, that reminds you; you are just as much a part of it as it is part of you. We were reminded. Be spontaneous, take chances, explore.

View the rest of the photos here: Upstate

It’s been hot on the east coast. Perfect time to pull out my underwater camera and play.

View the rest of the photos here: Heat Wave

All in all, this year was full of immense learning and self-realization. New experiences, new friends, and new ideas.

And with all of that, I’m really fucking excited for 2012.

View the rest of the photos here: 2011, A Year In Review

Had my first gallery showing at Milk Underground, that was dope. Secretly watching people look at your work without knowing it’s actually yours, listening to what they have to say. That was a great feeling.

I’ve been writing a lot more lately, learning how to be OKAY with what I write and voicing my opinion in words, not just photos. I’m really lucky to have amazing friends to support that and teach me during my strange endeavors. It’s such a weird shift from being so used to having instant gratification in a form of expression that you’re so confident and comfortable with, then exploring a whole new medium that you kind of suck at and falling on your ass numerous times. But getting up, regardless of how bad you are, and just fucking doing it. Because you want to. And you believe in yourself enough to get through it and learn more and eventually succeed. That’s some shit. No course could teach me what I’m learning right now. In fact, I feel like my college education ruined my ability to express myself in words. I was so used to just vomiting accurate information and bullshitting to fill pages. At least I know how to do research, but shit. There was hardly any voice in it, any true expression. I can talk, I can take photos, but writing is new for me. It’s exciting. I feel like I just got a new boyfriend.

Anyway, expect some of that in the near future. Enjoy the photos. Oh and, I’m sorry but I think monthly mixes are dunzo. My apologies, I’m so bad at keeping that kind of shit steady these days. I STILL LOVE ALLA Y’ALL THOUGH!

View the rest of the photos here: Lately

Thank you Irene. Thank you Virginia. Thank you friends.

View the rest of the photos here: Virginia Is For Lovers

And now you see…We created magic. Just like my dream.

View the rest of the photos here: Dream Desert

And with that, I’ll leave you this month’s mix!

DOWNLOAD HERE

Enjoy!

View the rest of the photos here: Swimming Lessons